The Goatmobile
It has been a year of challenges. A month ago, I was in a bad car accident. I miss my beloved Goatmobile keenly, however, I am grateful for the blessings that have come through this misfortunate.
For four years, she hauled livestock, skulls, feed, and interns — sometimes all at once. She literally took me from sea to shining sea as we drove to Oddities Shows and Farm Bureau events from Baltimore, Maryland to Portland, Oregon. We went to see Niagara Falls, Margaret Mitchell’s grave, Nate Champion’s gun, America’s Churchill Museum, Wallis Simpson’s birthplace, the Big Hole Battlefield, and the World’s Largest Rocking Chair. She was my favourite vehicle, and she protected me until her end.
The last month of my life has been focused on recovery, from yet another car accident caused by an erratic driver. I was on my way to church on a Sunday, when a hit/skip driver caused a multi-car accident in downtown Columbus at “the split” where Routes 70, 71, and 670 intertwine. The perpetrator hit an SUV, then hit a van with enough force that it spun around into the front of The Goatmobile. I had just a second to react, as I observed the van losing control in my peripheral vision. A quick glance to the side of the highway showed me a clear spot amidst the guardrails. I slowed and swerved, thus allowing the impact of the crash to be primarily on the front passenger side.
I have much for which to be grateful. My neurological system was very shaken up from the trauma of the impact, and I have struggled with “accident brain”. For two weeks after the accident, I was in tremendous pain every day. Thankfully, my pain levels have decreased. I am still struggling with memory and focus, however, I am surrounded by wonderful people who are patient when this overwhelms me. I am grateful to be alive, and I am grateful that I continue to recover. I am grateful that my friends and my interns have been fantastic to help me during this time. I am grateful that my young helpers have listened to my admonition of why you must never be distracted while driving: I had but one second to react when I saw the van coming for me, and that second allowed me to maneuver to prevent a head-on crash. Most of all, I am grateful that I was on my way to church — not a LambGram or a Goat Yoga class.
I truly loved that Goatmobile, and I am aggrieved at her loss. She had only been paid off for a few months. I thought I would easily have her for another decade. This was the vehicle I purchased after my last car accident, when a driver who was under the influence ran a stop sign and totaled my previous SUV. This Honda CRV was perfect for everything I did, was exactly the right thing at the right time, and brought me a lot of joy. Besides struggling with pain and focus, I have definitely struggled with this unexpected loss. I put a great deal into my beloved Goatmobile, and then suddenly, she was gone.
Navigating insurance and medical issues takes a lot of energy even at the best of times. It is incredibly hard when one is in pain, exhausted, and dealing with “accident brain”. It is difficult to be an advocate for oneself when you just want to curl up in bed from pain. There was enough structural damage to the front of the Goatmobile that she was decreed totaled by my insurance company. Right now, I do not have the financial resources for a new vehicle. What I received on the insurance claim was nowhere near enough to replace my vehicle with anything truly functional for my life. Because the accident was caused by a hit/skip driver, there is also no known individual from whom to seek restitution. We have had a remarkably challenging year at the farm, and I made the decision to use the payout on the Goatmobile to address a legal/financial issue caused by one of my former interns. This intern made a financial commitment to a business as part of a livestock project, and then defaulted on payments. Their parent ignored the company’s efforts to seek restitution, and unfortunately I became the party who had to set things right. This made my life much harder, but it has been a powerful lesson for my interns. They are seeing clearly the impact on me, on the farm, and on our team when someone else acts without integrity.
When you are a part of Harrison Farm, there are certain lessons I reiterate over and over. Some are goat facts: “what is the nutrient which goats must have that can be toxic for sheep”? Others are history related: “when was the Declaration of Independence signed”? The most important item on which I quiz the interns, though, is “what are the three core values of Harrison Farm”? I hope they learn the answers of “copper” and “4 July 1776” — but the paramount item which I want them to understand is the answer of “Honesty, Integrity, and Loyalty”. Young people come to the farm to learn about animals, yet I believe character building is a crucial component of being a part of the Harrison Farm team. One of my interns recently had her first vet school interview. She was excited to share with me that she was asked the question “what does integrity mean to you?” Because she had been a part of so many conversations at the farm around our core values, she was well-prepared to answer this inquiry. When she shared this story with me, I was overwhelmed with delight that Harrison Farm was truly helping to prepare young people for life. This is what the farm is meant to do.
The young people in my world inspire me, and I am excited by the impact that Harrison Farm is making on their lives. I know I have been given a gift from the universe in the form of a car accident. I have been given an opportunity to stop and evaluate life in a manner that I could not when I was busy. Without a vehicle, I am rethinking my approach to life. I am spending more time resting, doing yoga, catching up on all the tasks I set aside because I was too busy, and streaming daily Mass. I miss my Goatmobile — and so does Esperanza — but I am much happier. This time at home on the farm has allowed me to discern that the empire I was building was often a business of being busy. I was hustling every day and wearing myself out, yet this was not providing the stability which I needed or which the animals needed. As Corrie ten Boom wrote, “If the devil can’t make you sin, he’ll make you busy.”
In September of 2021, I was in a terrible car accident caused by another driver which stopped my world and led me to reflect on WHAT I wanted my life to be. In September of 2025, I was in a terrible car accident caused by another driver which stopped my world and led me to reflect on HOW I wanted my life to be. As I move forward, I have discerned that I need to focus on the farm and on teaching. After my accident, I shared with those around me that I was really struggling to focus. Now, I realize that I had been struggling to focus for years. As Helen Keller wrote, “I thank God for my handicaps. For through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God.”
